Gender Stereotyping - in collab with Leo Chabahil

1 Aug 2020.

After the successful session of Strength TogetHER on the topic “Gender Stereotyping” on 20 June 2020, a virtual program facilitated by 'LOKOPAKAR' youth organization to provide safe space girls and young women to share their stories, we decided to take a step further and expand the session to other genders as well.

The main aim of this session was to know the perspectives of certain things from both angles. During the session of Strength TogetHER, we were limited to the outlook of only one perspective. Thus, we decided to march forward with everyone and know the common stereotypes of both genders. The session provided an opportunity for everyone to share their stories about their moments in the life of Gender Stereotyping.

The session was conducted in collaboration with Leo Chabahil. Leo Chabahil has been working with the community to strengthen the community and its people in different ways. Huge gratitude goes to the President of Leo Chabahil, Mr. Yasaswi for helping us in promoting our program among the Leos in a short notice.

On 1st Aug 2020, LOKOPAKAR held a session on the topic “GENDER STEREOTYPING” in collaboration with Leo Chabahil. It was an interactive session with our special guest Mrs. Pranika Koyu. Mrs. Pranika Koyu is a writer, political analyst, and restaurateur.  She is a trained human rights professional who has worked in intergovernmental and regional human rights organizations.  Her working areas include women's rights, migrant rights, indigenous peoples' rights, and people with disabilities.  Her poetry has been translated and published in English for international audiences.

It was such an honor to have her presence in the session.

As we started, we felt a bit nervous and excited at the same time. It was our first session where we talked about this issue in the presence of both genders. I could see smiling faces from my Strength TogetHER girls. The girls were really excited to be there to hear the other side of the story as well.

We started with our own stories when we girls were taunted for not being feminine. May it be for being too loud or not knowing how to cook. Consecutively, we also heard the stories from the boys. We got to know how they were labeled. We got to understand that they were stereotyped and taught to be manly and how they should not be worried about the kitchen or household works. But, one of our speakers stated that he was interested in cooking and was often found in the kitchen helping out or cooking. But he said how it was not accepted even by his own mother. He was asked not to come to the kitchen. He felt a bit sad but he kept going and now it has been normalized. 

After finishing certain studies, the most frequent question asked to a girl is “Kaile bihe garne”. As our Pranika ma'am suggested, these questions are frequent but we should not be upset. We should be able to take stand for ourselves. We should stick to our career plans. Our dignity, individual choices, own decision- we have to take stand on our own even if it challenges society.

There were a few other discussions:

• “Who is powerful? Men or Women?”. And the response to it was that we can’t have competition with differences. Men and women are totally different physically from each other. Competitions can only be done in similarities, not differences. Men and Women are different so should not be compared on the basis of their strength.

•“Women only get raped.” We have been raised with this notion. Even when the topic likes rape, domestic violence comes, we only think of women. Patriarchy present in Nepal has made the men powerful. But this has affected the men. There are many men who have been raped and violated by women. Men who have been raped are criticized and taken down by society. All these are covered by patriarchy. Our state still looks at males as providers. Nepal tried to restrict women from going abroad for a working Visa. But if we see the records, we can see around 3 dead bodies come to Nepal every month. The life of a female is taken as important and male is taken for granted as the sole reason being men are seen as providers. Gender stereotyping has led to the death of individuals.

•The progressive nature of Nepal in LGBTQI+ members is still a question. There is the availability of options in official forms like ‘Others’ but it is not the reality. The government of Nepal has still not recognized same-sex marriage. Even in the education sectors, they are not allowed to pursue further. Our moderator gave us an example in which a person from the LGBTQI+ community was not being able to attend Masters in Tribhuwan University's sole reason being from a different gender.

Key suggestions made by Pranika ma'am to us were:

• We should take individual initiative. Change comes within us. We should change from the individual level and challenge the notion.

• Check your biases.

• BE the AGENT OF CHANGE.

• Deny Gender Roles, BE YOU. Take Stand for yourself.

• When purchasing baby gifts make sure to take gender-neutral, these small steps should be taken by us- as we create the society

• For changes you ought to make -you have to struggle, take challenges, and ready to do it.

• Rather than taking cooking, cleaning as a gender role, we must take it as a Personal responsibility /Basic life skills, which everyone should acquire.

• Thopa- Thopa le Sagar bancha- We should try what we can.

• We should be able to look at the bigger picture

Individual choices are something we can change by ourselves. It can be difficult the first time but continuing it we can make changes. We might act as rebels but this spark can help us change the society we will be living in the coming future. 

Now it is the time we need to focus on the bigger picture.

We should be concerned over statements like "she wore shorts that's why she got raped" or "she was lesbian thus she was raped".

In the current situation, we are not being able to take stands. May it be in a larger political scenario or our own household. If we see the current status of Mayor and Deputy Mayor, the majority or almost every mayor is male and taking lead as a provider. We are diverting our energy in small steps like "let me go to the temple during periods" while we should be focused on abolishing practices like chhaupadi. We should not be diverted, rather should be united. Focusing on equity we can help our society to be developed.

All in all, the session was a fruitful one and the objective was also fulfilled. We got to know about different ideas from almost 50+ participants. We are grateful to Ms. Rosy Karna ma'am, our mental health specialist, who stayed with us till the end. Also, special thanks to our moderator, Mrs. Pranika Koyu who managed time for us despite her busy schedule. The session started from 4.00 pm and went on till almost 6 pm via Zoom. Lastly, we are very thankful to Leo Club, Chabahil who helped us in conducting this session.

Written by : Barsha Tamang (LOKOPAKAR)

Edited by: Aastha Shrestha (Cohort Coordinator, LOKOPAKAR)

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